Timshel

It's been awhile since my last update. As you can see, I only seem to post when I get some type of major revelation or when a significant event occurs, hence the extremely long posts every once in a blue moon. So, as its becoming more of a tradition now, I've decided to unveil my latest post that I wrote a couple of weeks ago. It's long! and its kind of scattered!:

Pee bags, syringes, white-foam hand soap, beautifully-bloomed flowers. These are just few of the things that I've come accustomed to the past 6 months. 2010 is considered the year of the "white tiger", but for my fam and i, it's been more like the year of the "white coat" (haha..lame) I've encountered way too many doctors, nurses, midwives, etc. and truly...the hospital smell has become somewhat comforting.

Even though I grew up being surrounded by this stuff because of my mom, I hated the sight of blood all throughout my childhood. Every time my sister would watch E.R. on the tv, I would scream, not even squeak, and run outside the room. It's funny cause I am in no way, shape or form, disgusted by blood now and am actually more fascinated by it. So much that if it didn't require 8 years of my life, I would pursue a career as a medical surgeon. I mean I loved dissecting that cat during 11th grd physiology. Anyways, the point is, hospitals are kind of my shin-dig... something I've acquainted myself throughout my life, and especially in the past year.

Irony is an interested thing. If you look all around, irony is in the way trees come out from tiny seeds, being on a small planet in the midst of a gigantic universe, etc..The point is, God wasn't stupid when he created the world. The evidence of God is all around us and He's created everything with a purpose and reason for its existence. He even decided to throw himself in the mix, just to give us tangible evidence that He is a God that is true to His word. The most ironic thing in life is the death and resurrection of His son. But really, if you ponder and think long and hard about it, not just accepting it as something we "Christians" and "Catholics" celebrate as a holiday, you will come to realize that it's truly the ONLY thing that actually makes sense.

I was first in the hospital earlier this year in order to fight off death; to try and stop death and destruction from taking over my dad's life. Ironically, the second time I was in a hospital, a little bit later on in the year, I was celebrating and supporting the idea of bringing about life. The amazing thing about who God is, is the fact that out of death comes life. Out of dust, He breathed his very Spirit, forming an actual human being. It's not two separate things, but its something we will have to deal with throughout our very existence. The journey throughout my hospital visits have almost been a cycle of life to death...death to life. Sin brings destruction and death to our lives.....but by God's grace and love, we are able to experience life again to its fullest. Jacoby's birth reminded me that there is life abundantly waiting for us.

Another huge irony in life is even though God is all-knowing, all-powerful, He chooses to give us, the little people, the power of choice. As man, one of the greatest gifts, as well as the most abused, is the ability to choose. For my father, though he is outwardly doing better, I know that he won't truly feel life until he encounters God. Until he is able to be free from his sins and all the crap that he's been carrying his entire life. But like us, my dad's been given the choice to choose whether or not he wants to believe in God. As mentioned, that can be considered somewhat of a curse because wouldn't it be easier if my dad was forced to believe in God? But what kind of a relationship would that be. God knew this when He gave us that power.

Life is about choices. Crap is gonna happen. My dad isn't fully healed 100% nor is walking a Christian life yet. Jacoby is still blind in one eye and everything is still uncertain and up in the air.

But, I think this is where the "choice" part comes in, and where I myself decide how to handle these unforeseen circumstances. Life" and "resurrection" is a secure victory for us and is ready and available, as long as we choose to have it The Cho family has decided that we will remain hopeful and faithful in the only thing that makes sense to us... the power and authority that God has because He is GOD. The God of life is Lord over death (ie; cancer and blindness.) And hopefully, even if it doesn't result in what we want, our choice in seeking the best out of these situations will lead to joy, rather than sorrow. At least we'll know that we tried to pursue righteousness, rather than the downfall..

Along with this gift of choice comes the responsiblity of having it. The ability to choose how to act or repond can either go two ways: it can open the door to hurt and destroy the life of the other or perhaps the latter, and the choice that i hope we desire to pertain: to choose to bring life to others. Use this gift wisely because its one that was neither earned or deserved.. it was redeemed by a price.

Life will happen to you, whether you're on board or not. It's our choice to decide whether being on board means remaining faithful and clinging on to what IS solid and known (God), or letting the circumstances rush by like a train and choosing to stay behind in depression and cynicism

LASTLY...Timshel- "thou mayest- that gives a choice." (also a reference to Cain and Able in the bible) An interesting definition and the subject of this post. An excerpt out of the novel "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck pretty much sums up what I was talking about:

"But ‘Thou’ mayest! Why, that makes a man great, that gives him stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his murder of his brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course and fight it through and win. t is easy out of laziness, out of weakness, to throw oneself into the lap of deity, saying, ‘I couldn’t help it; the way was set.’ But think of the glory of the choice! That makes a man a man. A cat has no choice, a bee must make honey. There’s no godliness there."

Mumford and Sons- Timshel. The harmonies in this song is ridic.